Have you ever felt guilt over doing good work?
What I mean is, have you ever brought your “A” game to the workplace, maybe rocked a presentation, or took an assignment you were excited about and just killed it, to only walk away from presenting feeling guilty that you put so much effort behind your work and received any sort of praise?
I have to be honest, it is in my bones to do my absolute best work when a task is in front of me. If I have the capacity (and trust me, there are times I have NOT), it is an utter betrayal to my soul to do anything but my best when given a task. It is a disease I have grappled with my whole life. However, I have had the experience more than once where I was not only excited about the work that I had done, but proud and looking forward to sharing it with my manager or my teammates or other co-workers – not in the sense that I was looking for recognition, but simply because I had applied some sweat equity and hoped to provide value where I could – to only walk away from the call or the presentation feeling absolutely miserable about myself and wishing I could have just sent a silent email to my boss and never heard a word about my work again. I have felt overwhelming guilt because someone else on my team had to prioritize other things and their work on this task wasn’t to the same caliber. I have also felt this way because I told myself stories the entire time I presented that my peers in the audience (or even leaders above me) saw me as an over-achiever. I have even gone as far as allowing myself to believe that my co-workers saw me as “brown nosing” or “sucking up” to leaders in my organization just by doing good work. Typing that last sentence makes me feel ill even now. In fact, it is this guilt that has made me abhor public recognition for any accomplishment.
I share this because it’s BULL, and I have a feeling others out there may also be feeling or have felt this and quite frankly, it needs to stop. It makes me mad that I have often felt this and I don’t want anyone else to ever feel this way. So here is my take on the situation from both experience and reflection:
- The most likely truth in this scenario (I hope) is that NO ONE around you actually feels this way about the fact that you’ve done good work. No one is listening to your presentation or reviewing your work and even having these negative thoughts about you as a person and your intent behind doing good work. Good work only benefits everyone around you. You’ve either helped the company progress and by default helped those around you progress, or you’ve given others the bar to strive for. Make sure you are wiling to share your how. If you are open and want to help others succeed, then you need to stop telling yourself the stories that I am quite guilty of often formulating in my own mind.
- In the real world, there will be nay-sayers and sh*t-talkers and those that are intimidated or frustrated with you for bringing excellent work forward. One of my favorite quotes is, “What other people think of you is none of your business.” In other words, what they say, think or feel about you is more a reflection of THEM, not you. If anyone has a problem with another person’s success when it comes from hard work and grit, then that’s their own problem. It can be hurtful and it can break relationships and trust, but it shouldn’t break your own self image. You know yourself and you know your truth and you must be grounded in this. (I am taking notes as I write this).
So if you are holding back because you are afraid of the guilt that may come from doing good work, stop. If you are beating yourself up for trying so hard because you think you might have made another person feel angry or inadequate, let it go. If you are hold back your true potential because you are afraid of what others may think if you ‘try too hard,” release your true worth.
And if anyone ever labels you or bad mouths you because you did good work, tell them to kick rocks and move on.
Have you ever experienced this? Tell me about how your overcame it in the comments below.
Happy trails,
Diana
Ranch n' Business 